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大口大口的呼吸总是要到困的时候,思维才开始无止境的活跃,然后,大脑和心展开新一轮的决斗。
翻开原来的照片,那些凌乱叠加的街角照,让我想起了,已经过去了的,一段时间的自己。我要承认,欧洲的小街巷,是可以让你忘却时间的。你需要做的,不过就是大口大口的呼吸,那种气味。
没有人去留意旧照片,连自己都无法记起曾经的文字,还有那时的心情。这就是为什么,我们喜欢酒精。
把得与失看得稀松平常些,把曾经放淡些,喝水学会慢慢唾饮,从不锈钢的反射里看走形的自己。。。。因为没有一个人,会爱你爱到,看得到你肌肤纹理的变化。把手掌打开,相对,总是不一样长的,好像人的轨迹一样。享受自己得到的,慢慢抚摸年轮的变化,学会,努力呼吸。
总会有些小变化,值得欣赏一辈子。好比空气一样。 To my friends-A bit dirty but definitely useful!首先是时尚生活篇: 10,知道有些话只是听听就算了。比如“下次我请你”,“有机会大家一起发财”等等。 13,一年至少旅行一次,哪怕只是去远郊洗温泉。 16,消夜绝对不吃。实在要吃,那就吃完了再出去玩会儿,总之,别吃了就睡。 22,不要再以自己不会作饭、不会换灯泡……等等为荣。你以为你还有资格扮无辜? 23,尽量不要再和人合租。 24,手机铃声还是朴素一点吧,别整流行歌曲,尤其是网络歌曲。
接下来是很猛但也很现实的爱情篇: 41,25后,看〈色戒〉是要学会不能让情感控制自己,而不是转头就对男人要钻戒。 42,曾经你没追到的人现在反过头来追你,坚决不要。不要为他/她的掉价买单。 46,不可再抱有被有钱人收纳或包养的“梦想”,或者,把这个当作事业来经营。
接下来是真的很25岁的友情篇:
May the great force of rationality bless our countryThe Tibet issue may never go away, and some people will always take it as talk point against China one way or the other. But we can at least take some comfort in the fact that the world has finally started to move towards a direction where sense prevails over prejudice. It would be naive to believe that here is not practical consideration behind the current political move, but hopefully as the politicians change their rhetoric’s, the tide of media propaganda and, consequently the opinion of the general public, would follow suit. It will be regarded as a major triumph by Beijing, especially in the wake of worldwide condemnation of its suppression of anti-China protests and violence in Tibet this spring. Critics are already asking what Beijing offered - or was asked for - in return. Mr Miliband gave his strong backing to talks between the Chinese Communist Party and envoys of the Dalai Lama, the latest round of which has finished in Beijing. He also backed the Dalai Lama's call for autonomy, rather than independence, for his homeland as a basis for agreement. But in the last two paragraphs of his statement he referred to a historic agreement dating back almost a century which acknowledged Chinese interest in Tibet but asserted that Tibet had never been fully part of the country. He described it as an "anachronism" and added: "Like every other EU member state, and the United States, we regard Tibet as part of the People's Republic of China." The change in position is being attacked by a growing coalition of academics, Tibet support groups and the Tibet government-in-exile itself. Thubten Samphel, the government-in-exile's spokesman, said it was "greatly disappointed". "For the British Government to change its position at this stage to us seems counter-productive," he said. Britain's position derives from its colonial history - a reason why ministers and the Tibetan movement itself have rarely emphasised it. The Simla accords of 1913 set the boundary between Tibet and British-ruled India. They reflected the fact that Tibet had fallen within first the Mongolian and then the Chinese military orbit in previous centuries but had mostly governed itself. Britain was said to recognize Chinese "suzerainty" but not "sovereignty" over the region. While the distinction might be obscure, it meant there was a basis in international law, backed by a permanent UN Security Council member, for Tibet to be recognized as distinct from other "provinces" of China. Mr Miliband said this distinction, and the whole idea of "suzerainty" was outdated. "Some have used this to cast doubt on the aims we are pursuing and to claim that we are denying Chinese sovereignty over a large part of its own territory," he said. He was supported by Lord Patten, the last British governor of Hong Kong. He told the Foreign Correspondents Club of China at the weekend that the position was a "quaint eccentricity". But the Free Tibet Campaign and the International Campaign for Tibet fear the change has cut the ground from under the Dalai Lama's feet. The ICT called the sudden change "baffling and unfortunate". The Free Tibet Campaign said the Government was "rewriting history". The timing could not be more sensitive. Many of the issues being discussed between Beijing and the Dalai Lama's representatives, such as the boundaries of Tibet and the extent to which it is allowed to handle its own affairs, are exactly the same as those addressed by the Simla accords. Most strikingly, Britain's position in the accords, repeated since, was that its recognition of Chinese "suzerainty" was dependent on China granting Tibet political autonomy. Robbie Barnett, a British historian of Tibet at Columbia University in New York, said that Mr Miliband's statement stressed Britain's concern for human rights in Tibet but gave away the only leverage the outside world had to influence events there. "This is more than a bargaining chip," he said. "This is the entire legal and political foundation for these talks." The Foreign Office insists that there has been no change in policy, and that Mr Miliband was merely "clarifying" its current position. A spokesman refused to be drawn on whether Britain had been offered or asked for anything in return for its concession to Beijing. She confirmed that the Chinese were "glad" when informed by the British Ambassador to China, Sir William Ehrman, but added: "We did not give in to Chinese pressure. China was not pushing us on this." Stephanie Brigden, director of the Free Tibet Campaign, said Britain had given away a bargaining chip in return for absolutely nothing. "It's extraordinary that Britain has rewarded China in such a way in the very year that China has committed some of the worst human rights abuses in Tibet in decades, including torture and killings," she said.
想家的时候下雪的时候,我会想家。身体不舒服的时候,也是这样。
经历了一次名副其实却可以治愈的伤痛。伦敦下雪了,在这个十月,这个,70多年后又一个下雪的10月。
很想家,想做四海为家的人,是不可以这样的。可是,眼下的我,身体不允许你这么,折腾自己。
距离那个从新开始的日子还远吗?我想不了。
有来,有回,只是我曾经误会过这样的结尾也是个开始而已。现在终于知道,开始,是需要勇气的。
所以,我要痛下决心,不想已经过往的,想,就要开始的,阳光明媚的日子! Fine,Totally Fine
终于开始动笔的时候,发现感触真的就是一时的冲动,过去了就很难再有。
太多的朋友结婚,不想跟大家抱怨这些陈年老调,更是因为我不觉得有什么需要去抱怨的。只想告诉所有我结婚的朋友,虽然很多都是在网上发现你们已经结婚或者准备结婚的消息的,请接受我最诚心的祝福。真挚的感情对每个人都是有限的,抓住了,请不要轻易放手。
这也是工作以后才体会到的一个简单的,所有人都以为自己懂得的道理。比方说我,自以为自己放开的都是不需要的。回过头来,只能自己安慰自己,所有的痛都在帮助我们成长,只是,到底什么时候,我们才算是真正的长大呢?
前一段的日本电影节里,我去看了一部很有意思的影片,《Fine,totally fine》,日本名字是全然大丈夫。我想这里的大丈夫也许不是单指男性的,是想通过很幽默的手法告诉大家一个事实,很多时候,很多东西,我们需要看开些,让自己有更多的时间,自由自在的呼吸才好。
搬来伦敦的时候我满腹委屈,不想这么‘大把’年纪了又要去适应一个新的城市,可是生活摆在你的面前,容不得你选择。很多夜里,都很想家,也想曼城,想YUKI和LAN还有那里简单的街景。
几天前我才突然意识到了这个繁荣的城市带给了我如此多的快乐和满足,以及要离开的依依不舍。如果需要我写下来的话,我能够出一本书,叫做<101 reasons to love London>!也许,还不够。
我现在还记得NEIL带我去认路的时候自己笨拙的记录着伦敦弯曲的小巷,以及后来在他回到美国后我一个人在同一条路上因为迷路和钱包被盗而失声痛哭的样子,我给他发短信,说,我在你的故乡丢了。那时,就是一种丢了的感觉。
现在我可以轻车熟路的带新来的朋友胡转一通,还依旧找得到CHINA TOWN的位置还有每一家我喜欢的酒吧,咖啡厅和书店。我认识伦敦,从心里面,从很久很久以前。
家人问,如果以后要在国外买房子你选哪里?没有犹豫的,我说就伦敦啊。一个这么小的国家,竟然创造出这样一个可爱的国际化的城市,你说为什么?!
每周一次的歌舞剧,也是这里的朋友熏陶出来的结果。身在伦敦,想不去接触这些都很难。这周看的是弗拉明戈,一个在西班牙失之交臂以为以后很难再欣赏到的舞蹈剧,所以周一加班以后还打起精神在LYRIC APPOLO里稳坐了两个小时,生活就是这样的,很多时候是为了别人,所以再勉强,也得为了自己活一下。
爱上一个城市真的不难,难的是爱上这里的人,这里的夜,这里的生活。如果总把自己封闭在想像里,哪里都不会有我们可以歇脚的地方。
既然还要在这里呆着,还要与可爱的新朋友们相处并且记挂着老朋友们,不如停止抱怨,找到爱自己生活的101个理由,就从,公司对面的酒吧,或者从今晚的一轮明月开始。
Red Spider Lily-マンジュシャゲ彼岸花,一名曼珠沙华,一般认为是生长在三途河边的接引之花。花香传说有魔力,能唤起死者生前的记忆。
原产地是中国大陆,台湾,金马也。日本现在的品种推测为两千多年前,自中国运到北九州岛的,
春天是球根,夏天生长叶子,秋天立起开花,冬天叶子又慢慢退去,如此轮回而花叶永不相见,也有著永远无法相会的悲恋之意. 虽有毒性,但是球根经过处理可以食用,也作为药材来使用。 因有毒性的关系,有种在农地旁边,防老鼠之类的小动物。为了小朋友的安全,也常被种植在远离的墓地周边。因此也称为「死人花」shibito bana。另外也有,幽灵花yuurei bana,地狱花jigoku bana,天盖花tengai bana,剃刀花kamisori bana,舍子花sutego bana等众多别名。 在民间,春分前后三天叫春彼岸,秋分前后三天叫秋彼岸——是上坟的日子。彼岸花开在秋彼岸期间,非常准时,所以才叫彼岸花。 彼岸花属于石蒜科(Lycoris Herb),属名是希腊神话中女海神的名字。因为石蒜类的特性是先抽出花葶(总梗)开花,花末期或花谢后出叶;还有另一些种类是先抽叶,在叶枯以后抽葶开花,所以彼岸花花开时看不到叶子,有叶子时看不到花,花叶两不相见,生生相错。因此才有“彼岸花,开彼岸,只见花,不见叶”的说法。 它生长的地方大多在田间小道,河边步道和墓地,所以别名也叫做死人花。一到秋天,就绽放出妖异浓艳得近于红黑色的花朵,整片的彼岸花看上去便是触目惊心的赤红,如火,如血,如荼…… 相传彼岸花是开在黄泉之路的花朵,在那儿大片大片地开着这花,远远看上去就像是血所铺成的地毯, 又因其红的似火而被喻为”火照之路” ,也是这长长黄泉路上唯一的风景与色彩.。人就踏着这花的指引通向幽冥之狱…… 是妖异、灾难、死亡与分离的不祥之美。或者是因为它深艳鲜红的色泽让人联想到血,也或者是因为它的鳞茎含有剧毒,在一般的文学作品中,它的形象通常是与“疯狂、血腥”之类的概念相联系起来的。在炎之蜃气楼的邂逅篇《真皓き殘響》中,桑原水菜笔下写到景虎自杀的瞬间,看到喷出的鲜血如同盛放成群的彼岸花。 传说中,彼岸花是开在冥界忘川彼岸的血一样绚烂鲜红的花,有花无叶,当灵魂度过忘川,便忘却生前的种种,曾经的一切留在了彼岸,开成妖艳的花。 看见的熄灭了 消失的记住了 我站在海角天涯 听见土壤萌芽 等待岸花再开 把芬芳留给年华 彼岸没有灯塔 我依然张望着 天黑刷白了头发 紧握着我火把 他来我对自己说 我不害怕我很爱他 Tina Chow-the Buddhist Muse“……这个女子最美的地方,乃是对自己的美,一点信心都没有,这份性格上的特色,使她神情永远带一份迷茫渴望,眼睛象在恒久地等待某一个人某一件事,到底是谁呢,连女性都想知道。自小到大,象法国人所形容,她人生态度是“BLASE”的,十分厌倦享乐,从不刻意追、逼、钻、撬、谋,一切处置泰然,风度极佳,身为现代女性,却绝不给人一种服食了安非他命似拼命上的感觉,十分难得,姿态一溜,是以稳坐后座。很难了解,这样的一个女子,一点嗜好也没有,不赌、不醉不恋,对车子房子珠宝全无兴趣,从来没收集过邮票、贝壳、旧手表,只是询众要求,不得不穿几件衣服,水准仍有很大的上落,看得出精神并不集中。几乎完全不对潮流,淡得难以侦察的化装,使她看上去似乎不受时空限制。”——————亦舒对她的形容
Tina Chow 1951-1992 中国加油!四川加油!想了许久,不知从何下笔。
身在他乡,却流下了无数思乡的泪水。
我知道,一切已经发生;我知道,生命已经远去。每一天,我都会收到从地球的那一边吹来的风中,他们悄然离别的消息。 我会在风中止步,抬头,和他们说,放心吧,走好,在这次劫难以后,还给自己一个美丽的好梦。不要担心,还有我们。
我想,那无数的汽笛长鸣,那无数的呐喊呜咽,他们,都已经听见。
哭的时候,我会骂自己的无用,我会掐住自己的脸,告诉自己,你现在,应该去做更加有用的事情。
是啊,逝者如斯,生者,应该继续去实现,生命更大的意义。
于是,在哀悼日的最后一天,我买了鲜花,和这里的同胞一起,去悼念远走的亲人。我知道,现在我能做的,毕竟还太少。但是我们的祝福,他们一定会听到。这个最坚强的民族,一定会让他们,更加的骄傲!其中,就有我们每个人的,每一份力量!
从明天开始,让我们抹干泪水,继续前进!
加油中国,加油四川!!!!!!! BRAND NEW LIFE, 写给曾经的tell me that you sorry, didn't know I turn around and say, its too late to apologize...
人,也许都会犯错误。曾经的,现在的,大的,小的。家长总会告诉我们,认识到了,便不算晚。感情上的呢?还有,身体上的,谁又会给你弥补的机会?
尝试了两年, 想要续起一头长长的头发,像从前,狗子给我烫的那样。可是,身体不听话了,头发越掉越多,像跟我斗气似的。 我只好,剪短它们。
人病了,心情和身体一样,所以想要回家,以为自己勇敢到,放得下一切的舍不得,去争取那些属于我的, 包括,曾经自己决定想要放弃的感情。 其实,提起勇气,就是不简单的,我这样,安慰着自己。可笑的是, 回来养伤的自己,发现,我要的感情,并没有,像我想的那样,还留在原地。
我原本以为,一切,都可以解释得清楚。曾经的原因,对我来说是很简单的。我很任性。任性的人,都是坏孩子。可是,有人告诉我,他不介意。
有人说过,走到哪里,他都不会走远,因为,我是他的全部世界。
我觉得自己像如来佛一样,有一支大手,还有,一颗仁慈的心。
其实我有的,不过是幸运。
如果,我什么都留不住呢?到现在,我连自己的去留都无法抉择,因为,我突然间发现,自己失去了留在这里的,最坚决的理由。还回去吗?把放好的行李从新打包,把未来交给这个也许会突然就断电的身体?
我低头,看看自己的手。我相信,自己握住的,才是幸福。
也许,我的选择,从来就没有对过,但至少,我还是那个有颗慈悲的心的,坏孩子。
过去的,也许很美,带些我们自己赋予的梦幻。可以后的,只会更美,带着我的汗水,还有坚持。
brand new life,序我们的决心已下,很快,新的生活就要来临。
曾经在六人行里落下的眼泪,是因为分离的痛。朝夕相处的人,事,物,在一次挥手以后,便都没了踪影。我总是个爱怀旧的人,这些痛,忍不得。
还记得在新西兰的台阶上对着XIER的信哭,在游戏厅对着多多的字叹息,那时的我,想不到回程有多远。现在的我,看见年轻的人来到陌生的城市,他们也是这样的心情吧?新的生活,
年轻的岁月,其实,不过一眨眼。
我养过三只猫,第一只由于我的不负责任,留在了她来的地方,以后的,我对她发誓,我照顾你一辈子。现在的,更不相同,像自己的孩子,年龄,不只给了我责任,还给了我爱。
大家都隔三差五的,离开了我的视线,有了只属于两个人的生活,好与坏,不再和朋友,父母有关。从今以后,除了坚持,我们没有别的选择。我也是这样,生活的继续,和某个人有关
且是不容犹豫的。在心底里,我没有丝毫的犹豫。有的,只有不舍得。
所以,我拖着这个必须要精心修养的身子,还有积攒了7年多的感情,迈向下一章节的人生。
最想留住的,是和朋友的情谊。 Baby its cold outsideBaby, it's cold outside. All I can do is , stay at home, listen to music
"Hey There Delilah"
Hey there Delilah What's it like in New York City? I'm a thousand miles away But girl, tonight you look so pretty Yes you do Times Square can't shine as bright as you I swear it's true Hey there Delilah Don't you worry about the distance I'm right there if you get lonely Give this song another listen Close your eyes Listen to my voice, it's my disguise I'm by your side Oh it's what you do to me Oh it's what you do to me Oh it's what you do to me Oh it's what you do to me What you do to me Hey there Delilah I know times are getting hard But just believe me, girl Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar We'll have it good We'll have the life we knew we would My word is good Hey there Delilah I've got so much left to say If every simple song I wrote to you Would take your breath away I'd write it all Even more in love with me you'd fall We'd have it all Oh it's what you do to me Oh it's what you do to me Oh it's what you do to me Oh it's what you do to me A thousand miles seems pretty far But they've got planes and trains and cars I'd walk to you if I had no other way Our friends would all make fun of us and we'll just laugh along because we know That none of them have felt this way Delilah I can promise you That by the time we get through The world will never ever be the same And you're to blame Hey there Delilah You be good and don't you miss me Two more years and you'll be done with school And I'll be making history like I do You'll know it's all because of you We can do whatever we want to Hey there Delilah here's to you This ones for you Oh it's what you do to me Oh it's what you do to me Oh it's what you do to me Oh it's what you do to me What you do to me. Can you hear it? How to keep myself warm in WinterI don't like winter, not here or back to China, Actually I never really liked it. I hate when the whole world become cold, even rain becomes snow in winter!(however, they are beautiful)
The problem for me in winter is, how to keep myself warm. I am a low temprature person, I can easily became cold to chill other people. I can't even touch anybody in winter, coz they will begin to shout.All mine friends know that, some even get used to my cold hands now. I believe that is becoz I was born in the hottest day of the hottest season, I enjoy Summer, afraid of Winter.
So I take bath everyday, that makes me feel not just warm, but also beatific. I became unreasonably happy in the bath, the bubbles are colorful under the reflection of lights, even the smoke rise from my body. I can not only feel but also see it became warmed up, thats what I call "blessedness" in the cold days. Not to mention the benefit for my arthritis.
Something else I am afraid of, or something cannot be solved from bath. I am afraid of hurting people, which I will never intend to do so, I am also afraid of being hurt by others, coz I don't know how to let them go.When I feel the pain, it wil never go away.
I am always wondering how I will become a painful person and end up only with the hurtful things at the end of my life. That will be horrible and I don't want to see that coming; still, I can't deal with the feelings, when I feel hurtful.
Just let go! It sounds so easy for us. But, I just don't know how to let go them, away from my life. I want to smile all the time, there are so many people in my life that I want them to know how much I love them, so much fun waiting there for me to find out. I think I should not feel the pain easily. It turns out that, life is tough, and we cannot be "Fragile Things".
Every time is a new start, every painful truth is a lesson for us to know how to deal with bad things that could happen to us in our whole life. When our livies become not so generous to us, I will remember to always look for the bright side. And still, thankful for having so many wonderful friends and family with me. They are, my bubbles in Winter time.
Cygnus suggestions:
And the best movie in this winter coming season is "STARDUST" that makes us feel Warm and Magical!
The book I am reading now is"A Long Way Gone", makes you feel thankful for your peaceful life.
Working KillsI am not thinking of starting with the letter" w" as my title today, but my darling Sugar did, which is quiet obvious, he was not satisfied with me not playing with him, so as Abu.
I called my Mum today, but another voice answered me. It turns out to be one of my best friends back in high school. He said our friend-Anjian is going to be a father next month. I am, if you know what I mean, totally, suprised. A FATHER????? Where did he find that Wife thing? En, I may get one for myself someday, if that is not too hard, I assume.
Well, work, you know. Kinda closer, than the child issue.
I flew back for the Harper Collins Book Fair in BIBF last month, and Neil Gaiman ( http://www.neilgaiman.com/) and I became very close friends. So I went back to London last week, for the First Emperor Exhibition in the BRITISH MUSEUM http://www.britishmuseum.co.uk/, I was the only Chinese there, very funny, but exciting.
The Comedy at the London Comedy Theatre http://www.londonshows.cwc.net/comedy_theatre.htm was so impressive so we persuaded some friends to go and try to laugh until your stomach-ache. I did, I really did.
Oh ,right, the work thing. To be honest I have no idea what s facing me now and what I have to do exactly. I spent 6 days working for a result , which I haven't had, I will try to calm down and lie my wish to destiny. Thats what I will do, yes. And what left behind is a WORKING REPORT. I will let them wait!
After the Working Crash from BIBF, the one and only thing I have been doing, for more than a week , is shopping. I went shopping every morning and got back in the afternoons, as my place now is quiet convenient for city centre. Thats say it is some sorts of release, for the future without summer holidays and the never back yesterday. As Neil said, I am officially, at the over age now. no choice, young lady.
Lets hope he is ok in Japan to deal with the enthusiastic interviews and comic fans.
Lets hope we will all have a better tomo.
亲爱的,某某某刚刚,在看一部在线的电影对不起,恕我没有看完的勇气,和信心想到了,好多东西。心里面怪怪的,我想,可能是自己太闲了吧,你说呢?
早上起来的时候我说,我用了一生都在等待这个时间的到来;可它来了,我却不兴奋,或者说,迷茫。下床后,我的脚该放在哪里 我不知道
论文交上去后,是漫长的等待,修改,等待,等等等 等着有朝一日,自己变得和别人一样,朝九晚五,喝着咖啡,看着手表,等待下班,有心爱的人接我回家,等待每个月,拿到自己的血汗钱,却有种被剥削的感觉的,那些日子。
我剪了头发,笔直的和柔顺的头发帘,挡住了半张脸,我是最讨厌繁琐的人,讨厌需要打理的头发。 我现在每天要花半个小时,打理我的头发。
不然怎么样??
某某某工作了,某某某结婚了,某某某移民了。。。 我们是这个社会上,最活跃的年龄层,却,都不如90后,活得洒脱/
糖糖妈妈也回国了,我举着糖糖,想妈妈不?我比糖糖更想她。
暂时,也许还有很久,我们离幸福,还是很遥远。 所以,停止使用会毁坏自己的东西,我怕,我没有我假想的自己强壮。
开始设定自己的未来,但愿不算太晚。 比如,从一个亲爱的/热的三明治和一次热水澡开始的/当然还有其它 阿布和糖糖的幸福小屋又搬家了,不得不用又这个字,累得我直不起本来就弯曲的腰来.
又要来一次紧急的突袭,绕地球大半圈,然后着陆,然后,还要离开.很久都不能静下心来写点东西,现在也是,以后的一个月甚至两个月里面,我连来看这里的时间,都没有.更何况写。
大家都在忙着做毕业设计,很多人都已很久不见或者根本不见了.不知道,以后,我们还会不会记得对方的样子。年龄大了,有条件的都开始过上了幸福的二人生活,或者甚至回家,在北京,在熟悉的地方,安下了家.我也想回家.这样跑,很累的.
暑假回去除了跟我家"芦苇根子"脚劲以外,还跟一个老朋友"纠缠"了很久.回英国也有很长时间,总是想念屁股,做梦都会梦到她.我记得我跟她说过一句话,我们是一辈子的朋友.事实就是这样,好朋友,几年不见,心里也总是想着对方,我们不会生疏,只会更近.希望她一切顺利,我们在北京等她!
原来回北京的时候,总是每次都希望认识新朋友,回英国也是,和新朋友聊天,去酒吧,去跳舞.现在我发现自己老了,回北京,除了我那几个陈芝麻烂谷子的朋友,什么狗子啊,石头啊,多多笨笨啊,F啊,我就没有见过谁了.回来也是,喜欢跟岚岚乱堪,跟YUKI瞎贫,跟JENS大叔学打德国牌以外,便不想出门了,还是家里舒服,因为我们买了新的咖啡机,连最后的出门机会都节省了。当然,这次回国还有一大任务,就是陪霆霆,木子猛还有芙蓉呈呈打牌,这是领导布置的,不敢怠慢.
我想大家都有这样的体会吧,开始想成家,然后开始恋家,老死在家里,最舒服的床上~~~
可是,我都过了24岁了,连家都没有回去.出国7年了, 家里,住得竟然不如英国自如.
我问过芦苇,回去我会适应吗?她说北京是咱家,你会不适应?!有他们这样的,我希望粘一辈子的朋友,我想,我可以.
谁知道明天自己会在哪里呢~
feelings conjections最近走过了很多地方,去的多了,感想也就多,一时汇聚在了一起,就变得模糊了。
上个月在西班牙和葡萄牙,感觉到了异国风情,这几天又和朋友们转了下着大雨的苏格兰高地。英国,应该就没有什么遗憾了。
我记得有句话说,大自然的风景只能令我陶醉,但只有人和人类的作品才能令我激赏。当时,也许心里面不承认,自己的认同。苏格兰的确很美,但是在天气的渲染下,我只能强打着欣赏。因为自然是自由的,它会变,不需要承诺。于是,它无辜的吞噬了人类的历史,作品,美丽的城堡,优秀的书画,当然,还有我们的生命。
智者乐水,仁者乐山
山水之间,藏着无数人类的故事。没有山水的衬托,城堡不再神秘。但是没有这些人文事物,一切,不过是时间的流逝和山水的重复而已。
没有偏见,只有欣赏,不会厌倦的。
去HARPER COLLINS面试了,感觉到了压力,不是来自山水。生活,必须要有个理由让我们在知足的同时努力拼搏下去。我不会一直在他的怀抱里,不会一直去用自己的双脚感知曾经,我需要有自己的现在。
现在,也会被以后所遗忘,象我走过的每段路一样。再精彩,总要回家,睡在自己铺好的床上,最塌实。
为了我的现在,我们的未来,睡醒了,我还要上路。 冬天过去就是春天2006年不知为什么过得很快,快得感觉一瞬间就从年初走到了年末。2007年来的就这样突然而匆忙,一切似乎还没有准备好,一切又似乎充满希望。 这个冬天没有想象的寒冷,虽然时不时大雾弥漫,但隔三差五的艳阳天,还是让人不禁爱上冬天,尤其是北京的冬天,温暖的阳光和刺骨的寒风,这种极大的反差时常让人恍惚。终于,在新年快来的时候,北京下雪了。而在飘着雪花的2006的最后的日子里,我已经做好了准备,准备,永远不再孤独。
今年是第六个,不在家的春节。听不见的钟声,看不见的家人的微笑,感觉不到的温暖。可是,就是这样的一年,给了我新的定义。一切都已经过去了。曾经的快乐和不快,曾经的疑问和不悔改,都已经跟着2006年画上了句号。我会微笑,会勇敢,像米洛的十四行一样,手握着幸福,直到死亡。
我觉得,自己勇敢得伟大。但是,我为我身边的人,幸福。
春节快乐,所有我爱的人们。还有HAPPY VALENTINE‘S DAY,永远,不孤单。 娃娃在北京的时候,上飞机的前一天我终于病倒,流感是个可怕的东西,完全的打乱了我的计划,让我烧得倒在爸爸怀里,泪流满面。
下飞机的时候,不知道为什么从楼上摔了下来,牙齿松动,嘴唇也肿了,到现在,连吃东西的时候,都没有知觉。不能用吸管,不能亲吻,不能咬苹果。 考试的时候,由于欧洲的大风,对面在施工的楼仿佛疯了,胡乱的把自己分成无数的部分吹像我们。于是,考试终止,我们蜂拥逃离。楼里面乱成一团,玻璃碎成满地,我以为自己是在梦里,好象逃生似的,惊险,但是没有危险。直到我看见了救护车和无数的警察。
我的毛病就是,不去承认现实,喜欢自以为是。 我的优点就是,既来之,则安之。如果说事出有因的话,那我一定是做错了什么。可是,我想不出来,错在哪里?
如果一切都有个比较的话,那么,感情一定也有。可是比出的结果是什么?这时候,我的神经才开始有反映。如果我告诉自己非做不可的话,也无可厚非,尤其是,当我想不出更好的原因却一定要自己坚持的时候,我就不得不一直不停的麻烦自己的敏感了。因为任何一件事,一个小小的动作,甚至是一张陈年旧照,都会让我一直一直做噩梦,梦见我的牙齿真的全部都掉了,梦到我被无数的鸟啄着脸却无处可逃,梦见,我的生活里,藏满了老鼠。
或许,从一开始,我就不该选择比较,因为比过了,就一定想要知道,到底哪一种结果,才是更好的。是自己的,还是,真正属于自己的。 忘掉以前,是最容易的。但是我怕我不记得,就会又忘了身上的痛,忘记了在大风天时,连学校都是危险的。不去想以后,当然也是不对的,虽然一切都很遥远,可是,我愿意,就这一次,认真的去想。承诺虽然空虚,可总好过一枚戒指,套住了自己,却无法分离难过的情绪。 妈妈说,每次见我回去,就觉得我又老了一些。我反而觉得自己变年轻了不少,懂得不那么较真了,想做的,不如就去做,毕竟付出的甜蜜,是最难得的。 至于以后呢,也要由自己去承担。像丫头那样,独自在北京抵挡寒冷,在见到我时,依然笑的那么灿烂,让我欣慰,还有感动。
甚至有些怕回家了,怕再看到谁的手上,多了枚戒指,怕再听到谁要开始两人的生活,也怕再知道,谁又开始忙碌着买房,装修,然后让我们去做第一批暖居的人。北京的风刮的很硬,出了温暖的家,会觉得凉的。 相比之下,这里,竟然要暖和的许多。因为,我不用和你一起,去面对,那里的未来。在这里,我们是没有未来的,只能相互依赖的娃娃。
中秋(元宵)快乐,我的家乡,我的朋友,还有我的梦想我总是发誓,读研究生的时候一定好好学习,超过以往任何时候。但是我还是犯懒,只想回家,躺在舒服的大床上,看英国的太阳,看朋友的笑脸,忘记暑假里,发生的一切。
终于是个大孩子了。虽然还是记不得几点几分门口有50路公共汽车,记不得自己到底是哪个TUTORIAL GROUP,记不得教授的门牌和OFFICE HOUR,记不得喝多了以后拉着谁的手,忍不住放开.
又一年了,朋友们都还在身边,真好.
大家说,留的住的是朋友,留不住的,就放他走吧.
我会记得你说的,等到哪天,你终于不忙的时候,和我一起去旅行,一起看美丽的风景.
我会一直记得,你是谁.
我会记得,你很大声很大声,在刮风的夜里,叫我的名字.那时候我头很痛,可是,我是头一次,头一次,就这么停在了风里.
我还知道,我记得的,你也同样,都记得.
牡丹江,回不去的地方,叫家乡.
祝大家,中秋快乐,全家,都在一起,永远,都有人呵护
弹头:
弯成一弯的桥梁倒映在这湖面上 你从那头瞧这看月光下一轮美满 青石板的老街上你我走过的地方 那段斑驳的砖墙如今到底啥模样 到不了的都叫做远方 回不去的名字叫家乡 呜~ 谁在门外唱那首牡丹江 我聆听感伤你声音悠扬 风铃摇晃清脆响 江边的小村庄午睡般安祥 谁在门外唱那首牡丹江 我脚步轻响走向你身旁 思念的光透进窗 银白色的温暖洒在儿时的床 叙述: 牡丹江弯了几个弯小鱼儿甭上船咱们不稀罕 捞月亮张网补星光给爷爷下酒喝一碗家乡 牡丹江弯了几个弯小虾米甭靠岸咱们没空装 捞月亮张网补星光给姥姥熬汤喝一碗家乡 阿修罗复活多简单 爱情 像就做完的梦 清楚 模糊
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